In this interview we cover how to become a bigger person that is way outside your comfort zone.
1.What was the biggest change you made? What made it happen? What held you back?
The biggest change was writing the book Permission to Leap. I had to become a bigger version of myself in order to allow it to come through me. I had to shed even more of who I had been in the past. I had to let go of the things, beliefs, people, behaviors and thoughts which had been in my life, and which kept me from being my greatest possible self.
It was literally like a snake shedding a skin or a metamorphosis. I couldn’t remain the same, outdated version of myself, while bringing this book to life. It forced me to develop stricter boundaries, healthier habits and more meaningful relationships. I got the opportunity to face more of my shadows, and transform in alignment with my vision of my future.
The biggest thing that helped me in this transformation was meditation and a dedicated time to explore my inner world. I have a daily practice so as to attend to my growth and soul. This allows me to show up for consistent and sustained personal shifts.
What held me back, and what holds most of us back, is change is not comfortable. I had so many days of numbing out on my couch and wanting to run from it all. Our brain chemistry keeps us wired to avoid change, and I’m not immune to it! Every time the discomfort turned up a little, I found myself wanting to fill the pain with something mindless. Sometimes I allowed that for myself, while other times I confronted it and transformed it.
But at the end of it all, I knew I was writing this book since it came to me through meditation. I spent a lot of time in surrender, exercised my faith muscle and relied on my daily practice to help me through day after day.
2.What would you say to someone who wants to change something big in his or her life but is too scared to start?
Fears are simply your brain’s way of keeping you safe. The good news is you can change your brain. It begins with finding a way to make your why, your drive, and your mission bigger than your fears. Then continually reinforce those thoughts and turn them into beliefs. Don’t allow the fears to be in the drivers seat of your life.
3. Many people become indecisive. They change their mind every day, and sometimes more than 10 times in 1hr of thinking. Can you explain why this happens & what they should do?
Again, it’s the fear thing. Our brains are programmed to keep us safe. Saying yes to something so intangible as our dreams and desires is the definition of “unsafe” to our brain because it cannot plan, anticipate or process something it does not know. Habitually changing your thoughts and beliefs is one of the best gifts you could give yourself because it is the biggest thing that will support you in moving forward.
4. You talk about the inner and outer landscape. I love this. You say the majority of work is an inside job. What do you mean by this?
When people talk about taking a leap of faith, they think of it as something dynamic which is done in the physical world – grandiose actions, massive momentum or radical changes to ones “reality.” And, at a point this is very true. However, the build up to that point in the leap is all internal. It’s about commitment, alignment, clarity, vision and building an inner foundation upon which you build your vision.
5. Should I use logic to make my decisions or follow my passion and desires? What is the best way to make a decision?
Your logic will continue to lead you down the path of safety and what is known. Again, it all ties back to the brain defaulting to safety. Making decisions from logic means you are only relying on the reality of what you can see in your life exactly as it is right now.
If, however, you are able to tap into your intuition, it will support you in making decisions from an expanded place of possibility because it looks past what is and into what could be if you only said yes.
6. Why do you think it’s important to turn up the heat gradually when making change?
If you’re making too many changes or really large changes, it can trigger that fear mechanism in your brain too much. It’s best to operate just outside of your comfort zone and push the edge of your fears. Too far outside your comfort zone can be debilitating because it can cause paralysis, recoil and more. Find a way to get just far enough outside your comfort zone that it keeps you on your toes, but not so far that it paralyzes you.
7. What would you say to someone who made big changes but it ended up in a mess?
I would encourage you to look at the benefit of this mess and transform the story you’re telling about it. The Universe doesn’t make any accidents. The mess didn’t happen to you, it happened for you. The more you can see it as a gift, instead of playing the victim to it, the better. And, it will help you shift your mind around taking your next big leap. When your brain does not see your last leap as a mess, it has a better chance at trusting your next leap.
Don’t forget to read to read my very popular article How To Rise Regardless No Matter What.
8. You advocate a daily practice in your book. What is that? How will it help?
The daily practice is a time in which you set aside to build a relationship with yourself and your soul. It is a non-negotiable daily experience where you get to tend to your inner landscape. It’s your daily opportunity to receive guidance, practice alignment and work on changing your mindset.
9. Creation can not happen without destruction. Can you explain it a bit further?
Our lives are full. In fact, most of our lives are fuller than full. Because of this, our vision and the possibility in front of us don’t have space to exist. Something has to give. In order to make space for the creation of your vision, you have to deconstruct what’s currently in your life.
You can’t make a cake without breaking eggs. You can’t build a house without cutting some wood. Bringing a vision to life is a messy process because it requires you to break down and remove what has been in order to make space for what is to come.
When we go outside our comfort zone, people can react badly. It can feel like a slap in the face. What can we do about it? Why do they react that way?
Two things happen.
A. When we take a stand to move outside our comfort zone, it reveals to others where they are refusing to step outside their comfort zones.
B. When we step outside our comfort zone, we change and this change can threaten the relationships we have in our lives.
All you can do about it is trust. Trust that who you are becoming can handle whatever you are to face. Trust that if the relationship is strong enough, it will continue forward and evolve with you. Trust that if the relationship doesn’t last, that it’s not meant to. And trust the vision you hold.
10. What is a Universe Double Check?
I first learned about the Universal Double Check from a coach in 2015. On my way to the office I wrecked my car. The day before I had signed a big contract to work with her. Now, I get how one would not immediately think that these two experiences were linked. However, the first thought in my head (before I had even put the car in ‘park’) was, “I need to cancel my coaching contract and back out of my commitment.”
I wasn’t concerned about me or the drivers safety. I was drawn to the scary commitment I had made the night before. And now, not only was I scared about the upcoming coaching payments, I had just created another financial obligation for myself with an unexpected car payment.
The Universal Double Check is a moment almost immediately before your vision makes its way into your physical “reality” in which the Universe provides you with an opportunity to back out. It’s a final check to ensure that you are serious about changing your life and committing to this transformation.
In the moment of my car accident, I could have chosen to back out and allow my physical “reality” to keep leading my actions. Instead, I dove deeper into my faith and chose to remain committed to my vision. I said yes to remaining in my coaching commitment. I said yes to a new car. I said yes to creating my dreams.
Nearly three years later I can say without a doubt: I would not be here, writing this as a published author, if I had chosen to ignore the possibility in front of me and fail to allow my faith to lead the way. Interview with Bri Seeley for the book ‘Permission To Leap’.