I went to superstar Danielle LaPorte’s talk the other night in Sydney to hear some kick-ass spirituality and personal development. So, I thought I’d review the talk and share the 3 big takeaways.
Over 4 million people have visited her website, she’s had lunch with Oprah and runs a multi million dollar company. Her website is Danielle LaPorte
The main thrust of the evening (hosted by The Wake Up Project) was about getting real about why do you seek? There are a number of big drivers behind personal development that are really not cool. And they are things you want to avoid. I agree with this 100%.
These are the lie of affiliation (group think), inadequacy and authority.
Now, the lie of affiliation is that you take on 100% of the thinking of the group you wish to join, be it new age, yoga aficionadas, Buddhism, Christianity, etc. You let go of individual thought and believe everything you are told, even when it doesn’t feel right. I agree with this whole heartedly. Because at the end of the day these groups or organizations are made up of humans. People are not perfect. On top of that all faiths and pathways have their flaws. I’m not saying don’t join. I am saying think for yourself and avoid the flaws that are with your pathway. Peer pressure can be part of this too, or as Danielle calls it – group think.
Getting better from adrenal fatigue included saying no to some things people wanted to push on to me. I’ve even had people accuse me of having no hope or self love because I said NO. Now, that is peer pressure in the extreme. They believed that you should do X, Y, Z to heal your body, and thus by default I should too. They couldn’t handle my no. At the end of the day you know what is truly best for you. No-one else does.
Then there is the lie of inadequacy. I am so pleased that Danielle addressed this topic! It’s serious and often overlooked.
There may be work you want to do on yourself and that’s cool. But have you become a serial consumer? First, it was juicing and fasting, then yoga, then crystals, Christianity and so on. Look at your motivation behind why you are doing it. Really look. If it is because you think you aren’t good enough deep inside you will never be satisfied.
There are good reasons for being on a personal development path. And these are fine. Awesome in fact.
It’s not fine when no matter what you do, and how much you achieve in personal growth you still feel inadequate. So, then you move onto the next phase/faith/lifestyle choice. You are adding all these wonderful things into your life but not looking at the underlying hole that needs to be sorted. This one is sneaky because you think you are doing all the right things to make your life great but you can’t see you’re missing the core ingredient. And it’s your belief of worthiness underneath it all that’s missing.
I don’t want you feeling inadequate. And I certainly don’t want you chasing after things to improve yourself when you haven’t worked on the core foundation.
Let’s get onto the third lie LaPorte talked about – the lie of authority. Danielle says, when you listen to someone’s idea about what you should do next, you give your power away. And she goes on further to say that, we find out how powerful we are when we wrest our power back. And teaching you is not really teaching you. It is resonance.
I think it is a bit more complicated than that. So many times there has been content on my website or social media feed and you told me “that was exactly what I need to hear right now.” The information spoke to you, or resonated because your mind/soul recognized the truth of it.
But I also believe when you initially learn something you just learn. You soak up all the information, grasp the concepts and figure out how to make them work in your world. Resonance is not something that happens all the time. It’s something that happens more when you have got a certain amount of personal development or self help under your belt. There is, however, the opposite end of the spectrum. If it doesn’t feel right to you, or your inner voice is warning you to ignore that teaching then do so! This is definitely giving your power away. Always trust your inner guidance.
The audience was delighted when Danielle opened up the floor for Q and A. We were invited to shout out a topic and Danielle would riff on it. We covered boundaries, betrayal and the hard work of forgiveness.
Danielle also spoke about what is going in the world at present. There is a lot of pain and she believes we should decide to not turn away from it. Once we turn and stay silent, we become complicit. And she’s right. Turning away from the pain in this world is an instinctive protective mechanism. But evil happens when good people say and do nothing.
After the talk I met Danielle LaPorte for a personal chat. The thing that really stood out to me was her eyes. They radiated such energy and life. And Danielle is a hugger. I was expecting something more inspirational and energy giving. But what I got was so much better. It was gritty no nonsense conversations about life and personal development. It was real and full of heart.
Hey Monique. Richie here (the wizard of om) from @LiveYourNow. I like the grit of a lot of what was said here. I find there’s a social media code when in business of NOT addressing many issues.
I have resolved in myself that as a modern mindfulness teacher, speaking from presence, that we have a duty to open the floor to more reasonable and sensible conversation about matters that have become ruled by dog whistles and division.
If not us, then who?
If not now, then when?
I did also recognise old habits of mine of consumption of self dev. Made me check in with myself. Even coaches etc need coaches and I love to learn from all. So thank you.
My best to you,
Hi Richie, yes you’e right there are some things personal development leaders don’t like to talk about. And its good to get it out in the open. I’d love to hear more about your work. cheers monique